


A lit wick

by Poutini



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: F/M, In-your-end-o, M/M, sexual innuendo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:15:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28020750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poutini/pseuds/Poutini
Summary: The candle was a wedding present from Stevie.  She’d found it on Etsy, though what search terms exactly would have led her to an item that read “A LIT WICK MEANS I WANT DICK”, would forever remain a mystery.
Relationships: Marci Brewer/Clint Brewer (innuendo only), Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 44
Kudos: 168





	A lit wick

**Author's Note:**

  * For [princesstigerlily](https://archiveofourown.org/users/princesstigerlily/gifts), [fortheloveofSchitt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fortheloveofSchitt/gifts).



> This all started because of an item for sale online, similar in nature to [this](https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/828992881/a-lit-wick-means-i-want-dick-tall-candle?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=of+the+candle+is+lit+dick&ref=sr_gallery-1-3&organic_search_click=1&col=1).

The candle was a wedding present from Stevie. She’d found it on Etsy, though what search terms exactly would have led her to an item that read “A LIT WICK MEANS I WANT DICK”, would forever remain a mystery. Or at least until the next time she got wine-drunk on their back porch and couldn’t resist telling them about the artisanal, phallic, glass-blown wine stoppers she’d purchased at the same time for Jake. 

They’d laughed it off as a joke, but not before making Stevie cringe with their thorough consideration of the candle’s use, concluding that they had sex so frequently that they would have to buy dozens of these candles, and require additional storage, so it would reside on the mantle as a reminder of Stevie’s undying commitment to making fun of their married smugness. 

And so it stayed for many months, lovingly dusted and routinely placed back beside a framed picture of Stevie and Johnny outside the motel on the mantle. 

At least until Christmas Eve, when Marci Brewer decides the dinner table needs more light, more  _ ambience _ .

With the lettering facing away from the room, to the naked eye, or in the low light of the livingroom, it looks like a simple loft candle. It’s not until Marci sets it down, already lit, right in front of Clint, that the vinyl words become clearly legible. 

“Setting the mood,” she says with a wink, and Clint chokes on his water. 

Marci patting Clint on the back as he coughs and sputters, and tries to catch his breath, pulls focus from the plating occurring in the kitchen, and David and Patrick come out to check on them. 

“Is everything okay?” Patrick asks, his brow furrowing in concern at his dad’s reddened face.

Not yet able to speak clearly, Clint nods, and gestures to the candle in front of him. Marci slowly takes in the words printed clearly on the glass. Her face takes a journey as comprehension sinks in. 

David bursts out laughing. A flush crawls up Patrick’s neck, up his cheeks, to the tip of his ears, but the giggles start bubbling up from his chest and soon there are tears in his eyes he is laughing so hard. If David’s steady hands hadn’t migrated to his shoulder, he’d probably literally double over in stitches. 

“Marce?” Clint croaks out. “Do we, uh, do we need to leave early?”


End file.
